Put it in a Blender

Warm Puppies

2006-11-07T14:00:00.000-06:00

Let me begin by saying that I think that this person should have gotten a lot tougher sentence for what he did to this little creature. However, I can't help drawing a funny parallel between this and a David Sedaris story ("The Youth in Asia") in which he discusses the healing powers of his mother. Their dog was having puppies and one of them looked like he wasn't going to make it, so she got out a baking dish, set the oven to warm and slid the lifeless pup in. Of course, the children freaked and she calmly responds "Oh, keep your shirts on. It's only set on 150--I'm not baking anyone. This is just to keep it warm." In a few minutes the puppy was revived and the Sedaris children were convinced that their mother could resurrect the dead. The cute dead, that is.

Seriously, read the story.

peace out
RL

PS--I don't want to hear a word about how long it's been.

Worst Ever

2006-04-13T20:16:00.000-05:00

I'm at my favorite coffee house, attempting to be a good little teacher (this semester, I will not score high marks, but I still soldier on) and grade my papers. However, the WORST acoustic guitar player/singer is performing. It is awful. He is hurting my ears, literally, because I have to have my ear buds in at a rather high level, which recent reports have shown will surely damage my hearing. The good news is, RadioIOEcelctic is making delightful, if loud, sounds in my ears. It started with David Gray and now it's Fray, which I admit to knowing nothing about, but no matter. It's better than this hack.

RL

A Conversation With My Husband

2006-04-06T09:11:00.000-05:00

Upon finding out that a member at the country club my husband works at is the owner of a printing press, this was our conversation:

RL: Really? A printing press? I thought Mr. W. was a lawyer.
P: Nope, printing press.
RL: But he wears suspenders...
P: Well, he is a Republican.
RL: Oh, that explains it.

RL

To Blog or Not...

2006-02-16T08:50:00.000-06:00

Honestly, I just don't have time to post. I work a full-time job that doesn't end when I go home because I take a mountain of work home. Plus, I teach at least one writing class a semester at the local community college, which means a mountain of grading and prep. Then, I've got all of the other normal household things to do--laundry, cleaning, dishes, ironing, etc. And, a dog to take care of. Plus, on the rare occasion that I actually get to see my husband, I would rather spend time with him than posting. I do set aside some time at work to read other people's blogs, but sometime around last October, I got to the point where I had to make a decision--read other people's blogs (both friends and library related) or post to my own. The only reason I'm posting today is because there were no entries in my aggregator, thus freeing me from the conundrum.

And now I'm off because Bag'o'chips just announced the state budget yesterday and it looks as if libraries (specifically systems and publics) will once again take a sizable hit. We are having a little meeting to prepare for our reaction. Thank god it's almost legislative visit day--I've got more than a few things to say this time!

And, this isn't directed at anyone--I just had a moment and decided to blather on for a bit. Chalk it up to the stress of being a public servant.

RL

Synergy

2006-02-07T16:10:00.000-06:00

Well, I've known about this for awhile, but I wasn't allowed to tell anyone until an official announcement went out to the whole state, but since that has happened, I can now proudly say that I am a member of the 2006 Synergy class! And, what exactly does that mean you ask? Simply put, it's a very selective leadership program for new librarians in Illinois. You can read more about it here. It's quite the honor as only 30 people are selected each year. I'm psyched, plus I get to see some of the prettiest parts of Illinois. And, I don't want to hear anything from anyone about Illinois not being pretty.

RL

Warm

2006-01-19T09:39:00.000-06:00

It's a wonderful day in east central Illinois when you can wear flip flops outside in the middle of January and not loose any toes in the process.

RL

Obsessions

2005-12-22T10:46:00.000-06:00

I have discovered a new obsesison--Sudoku. There's no math involved (major plus)--it's just an organizational puzzle. There are 9 boxes with 9 spaces in each box. In each box, you have to organize the numbers 1-9 without repeating any numbers. However, you also have to make sure that each column and each row has numbers 1-9 and that each one only appears once. So, 1-9 only once in each column, row, and box. It's awesome!

That's My Grandpa

2005-06-29T13:38:00.000-05:00

So I returned to the land of corn this past weekend to celebrate my sister's graduation. A group of us were in the basement and my aunt had this story to tell about my grandfather, who lives with them.

My aunt arrived home from an afternoon of shopping with her school-aged grandchild. The kid runs up to the house and sees their dog, a little terrier, by the sliding glass door with something strange in it's mouth. The child is able to wrestle the object away from the dog and hand it over to my aunt. My aunt is now in a bit of a state because this particular item belongs to my grandfather and he really ought to be missing it by now. On top of that, she's not really sure how she is going to be able to sneak the item back into the basement before he realizes that it is gone. Ultimately, she decides on the direct approach. She places the item on a tray, along with his lunch, and walks downstairs. She walks up to my grandfather and says, "Are you missing anything?" as she points at the item. My grandfather replies, "Where'd that damn dog hide my teeth this time?" as he grabs them off the tray and slips them into his mouth.

RL

It's Summer and It's Hot!

2005-06-24T15:37:00.000-05:00

What an appropriate Friday Five--it's one hot doggy out there today! It was 80 at 8:00 this morning. Quick, where's ma pool!?

1. Can you share a tale of a favorite summer cookout/get together?
I usually go to the White Trash BBQ, but I missed it last year. There's cans of beer in a baby pool, people dressed up as the trashiest you can be, and, if you're lucky, a drunk country club member just might take her bra off without taking her shirt off. Someone usually does and it usually ends up in a tree.

2. What is a favorite summer ritual of yours?
Finding a pool. Laying in it.

3. After a long hot summer day, what is your favorite way to quench your thirst?
Usually a beer, though I have become rather fond of white wine. It has to be be throughly chilled, though.

4. The 4th of July is coming up, what plans, if any, do you have?
I don't do anything for the 4th. We've never really been a patriotic people.

5. What are you looking forward to doing most before the summer ends?
Graduating. I'll be finished with my MLS, thank god!!!!

That's all I got,
RL

Uncle John's Band

2005-06-17T13:57:00.000-05:00

Folks, I'm tired. You get your Friday Five and not much else today. The grant is done and is currently safely making it's way to the State Library so I don't have to think about it again until awards are announced.

1. What do you wear to bed?
Depends on the weather. I've been known to go the nekkid route and I've also on occasion worn wool socks, flannel pajamas, a t-shirt AND a sweatshirt (indoors with the heat on).

2. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
This year, the left side. We like to change things up.

3. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
No, though I have on occassion. Usually when P. is gone.

4. Blanket/bed hog?
Sometimes. It depends on how bad/good my dreams are.

5. Do you make your bed everyday?
Sometimes. Some days it doesn't get done until right before I get to bed, but I think it's the thought that counts.

worn out,
RL

Rare Things

2005-06-14T18:37:00.000-05:00

In honor of the latest and last Indigo Girls release on Epic Records (never fear they are still planning on releasing other albums, but their commitment to Epic has expired, thankfully!), entitled Rarities, I will share a few rare gems of my own. Some are a few rare things I have done/seen/heard in the last couple of days and others are from a much different time.

Drank in public on Monday--I don't usually even have a glass of wine on Mondays (no work to unwind from). I had four beers and they were all lovely, though slightly sad because they were with people that I will sit in a class with for the next 8 weeks, but will never see in person again.

I often eat breakfast for dinner. It's good to have waffles and eggs at 8:00 at night.

I have more than once felt the need to run away. Not from a bad situation, but because I was so bored/dissatsified with my life.

I want to see all 50 states and travel the length of Route 66 all at once. Just not both together.

I recently had a nightmare so terrifying and realastic that it caused me to wake up twice. The short version is that I has forced to witness an Arab man that I did not know being tortured. It was being filmed. I was in no danger and never once felt like I was. It was, however, the most gruesome thing I have ever seen and kept trying to look away/escape, but I was forced to stay there. Thankfully, one of the torturers threw up after it was done. Unfortunately, if I let me mind wander, I can still see the person from my dreams hanging there.

I almost always dream in color and in TV--there is either someone filming it, the dream is about a TV show in which I am one of the characters or am otherwise directing the action (I once came up with the best episode of Seinfeld, a show I never watched), I am watching TV, there is a famous TV person in it, etc. The filming thing is slightly new to my dreams.

After a stressful semester, I unwind by getting a three piece, extra crispy KFC dinner with mashed potatoes, cole slaw and a biscut. I then go to the apartment, draw all the shades, put something good, but equally shameful on the TV (it just depends on what's on at the time) and enjoy my oh-so-bad-for-me meal. It's my reward meal.

RL,
who will probably have 2 KFC dinners when I receive my degree

OK, Let's Recap

2005-06-10T08:51:00.000-05:00

Look at me--I'm posting again!

Quick recap: Went to my parent's house and had a wonderful time. Saw some friends that I hadn't seen in a while, which was great! Came back to my home for about 36 hours and managed to contract some nasty virus from P. Didn't know that until a few days later when I was in Chicago for a 2 day meeting. Found out I really do have a job, which is most excellent. Spent the holiday weekend hacking up my lungs. Spent the few days after the holiday hacking up my lungs. Am currently writing a digitization grant--my first grant ever. Getting ready for my final class which opens with a full day of fun (ha, ha) on Monday. Must read trashy novels feverashily until then (it's Adult Popular Lit).

Phew...so, that's what is going on here. I'm sure there's more, but you get the idea. I was supposed to go see the lovely Neko Case this evening, but I probably won't be able to make it. We'll see how I feel after I get off work and how much stuff I can get done before it starts--it's an early show, which seemed like the perfect plan when I heard about the show earlier this week, but now it seems like not such a good idea. We'll see.

OK, so here's the Friday Five. I took an older one b/c the one posted is about cloning and quite frankly, I don't really feel like thinking that in depth this morning.

1. What was your favorite breakfast cereal when you were a kid?
Plain Cheerios with a ton of sugar. I also enjoyed Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Kix (no sugar added).

2. What is the best toy/prize you ever got in a box of cereal or because of sending in UPC’s?
Hmmm...because there were so many of us, we were usually discouraged from choosing cereal that had a toy. I do remember Mom instituting a short-lived rule that went something like the person who picked out the cereal (we each got a week) got the toy, but I can't recall anything really good.

3. How do you take your eggs (scrambled, over easy, egg beaters)?
I had a lovely spinach and artichoke soufle from Panera (of all places) this morning--that was quite good. Normally, I like them scrambled, unless I'm eating them with something that you get to pour syrup all over...then I like them over easy. It's one of the few times I don't freak when food juices are mixed together. Yeah, I'm gross AND weird. Deal.

4. What is your favorite breakfast meat (bacon, ham, sausage)?
Umm...I don't do the meats.

5. What is your favorite spot (local or chain restaurant) for breakfast and where is it located?
I heart the Courier Cafe on Sundays. Sadly, I can't seem to find anyone willing to go with me. It's good and has excellent coffee.

So, that's about it. I have to go work on this grant. Wish me luck--it's due next Friday. EEKS!!

RL

Gross

2005-06-01T13:28:00.000-05:00

Uggh.

I feel like shit today. Apparently, it might not be the best idea to mix a sleepy time cold medicine with a daily dose of allergy medicine. I feel like a truck has run over me, backed up, and rolled over me again, only this time, the bastard did it slower.

On the upswing, I think that all will soon be right in the land-o-me with work and having full-time stuff nailed down. I don't want to say too much because the governer has not yet released his budget (which would dramatically impact whether I am kept on as I was the last hire and am in one of the more "expendable" positions), but things appear pretty good. I'm still cruising the classifieds to see if anything good pops up, but I'm not getting to fussed about it right now.

Time to work, again.

even less concerned than normal about spelling,
RL

Looking Back

2005-05-21T11:34:00.000-05:00

I think this is going to be the trip-o-retrospective. It started already last night. I went down to Charleston to visit Jillian, who happened to be in town. Well, on a lark, I decided to call up an old friend to see if he wanted to meet for a drink. It was kind of weird, but not in a creepy way and not in a sad way. It was just different. Though I have never had any bitterness towards this friend, it was kind of like seeing someone you used to have bad feelings towards and seeing through the course of your conversation that you have moved to a different place. I think it's because he (along with a thousand other experiences) kind of represents a different time in my life--my life at Eastern and my first years as a teacher. I hadn't seen him since I moved away over 2 years ago. And, it felt good to chat with him. I've had such a bad feeling from Eastern for so long, it was nice to see some of that badness drop away. There was a lot of good there too, don't get me wrong--I just stayed there for too long, hoping that things would never change because they were so good. Now, a lot of that bitterness I felt at the end of my time there has faded.

reflective,
RL

For Real This Time

2005-05-20T11:11:00.000-05:00

OK, so I think I'm back for real this time. I've been enjoying my time off from school work and so have spent many an hour doing nothing and loving it! I haven't even cleaned the apartment (which I usually do obsessively, but only if I'm stressed out--hey let's make it worse, shall we?) and have only done the laundry because I needed clean clothes. I'm lazy, not dirty.

Big week ahead, so, now that I've made a big fuss about being back and all, I probably won't be posting too much next week. I'll do what I can, but starting Saturday night, I'll only be at my place for about 36 hours that week. I'm going to my parent's house for a real visit, coming back on Monday night, going to work on Tuesday and a half day on Wednesday, jumping in the car with my boss on Wednesday night and traveling for a meeting in the north suburbs until Friday night. BAHH!!

Anyway, here's the FRIDAY FIVE!!!

1. What made you happy this week?
It hasn't made me happy yet, but it will as soon as it arrives--my pre-order of Little Star by Girlyman! Nearly everyone else has gotten theirs this week, so mine should be here! I just might kiss the mailman if I see it (and him) today!

2. What made you sad?
Two things--I had a huge crying jag on Tuesday night (long story, not really necessary to tell) and woke up with 2 sties (is that even the plural of sty? Not sure), one in each eye.

3. What made you angry?
Pre-crying jag--very upset with P. and the way life was going. There, you get the rough sketch of said crying jag. Everything is very wonderful in our world once again.

4. What are you looking forward to in the next week?
Hopefully, I will hear if I have an interview for a kick-ass, oh-so-perfect for me job.

5. What are you not looking forward to?
The aforementioned meeting. They are so long! Though, I might find out if they want me to hang around, which would be good to know.

hungry,
RL

Umm, Yeah

2005-05-10T16:51:00.000-05:00

So, long time no post, eh? It's been crazy busy at work as of late--still is actually, but I decided that I needed to pop in. Tons of projects to work on, trying to secure full-time employment, all that rot. Here's hopin'! I'm going to start putting some resumes out there to see what comes my way.

Other than that, not much else is going on here. I'm trying to finish up the semester (final paper due on Friday, but I'm trying to get it done by tomorrow when I will actualy be seeing the teacher) and looking forward to starting my last semester.

promising not to be absent for quite so long next time!
RL

The Tragedy of it All

2005-04-27T15:45:00.000-05:00

As you all know, I am a librarian. As you also know, we of the librarian set have several unfortunate stereotypes associated with us. We insist on quiet all the time, we are introverted, we are anal, we can be a bit snarky if you mess with our books, etc. These, I can handle because for the overwhelming majority of "real" librarians, these are not true. There is, however, one that is, sadly, very true. We are, apparently, the most tragically dressed profession in the whole world.

We insist on wearing shapeless shift dresses, orthopedic shoes (hello, are we nurses and/or over 50--NO!), hideous glasses, even more hideous "character" ties, pants that are too short (and not in that cute, peddle pusher way) and too high, shirts that have no shape, a strange fondness for polyester, and the absolutely most horrifying colors of pants, shirts, ties, and socks (typically, these colors should only be seen on Halloween or should only be worn under adult supervision). Oh, and let's not forget that they are still not over the scrunchy, but hair is, of course, a different matter all together.

I propose that my profession take a few clues from some other professions to aid in our never-ending battle to improve our image.

Let's begin with personality. Now, even the most classically introverted librarian has some sort of personality lurking underneath it all. Let it out! Our first fashion hint can be taken from the vet tech people. Sure, the doggy and starfish covered smocks exude their own sense of tragicness, but at least they match and show a bit of personality. Am I suggesting book themed earrings and ties? NO! Please, do not do such a thing! Instead, find your own personality lurking within. Perhaps you really love color, but are afraid to wear it to work--lose your fear and embrace the color, my friend! Do not, however, take it too far. We will not be taking any fashion hints from rodeo clowns, so get that silly little idea out of your head right now. A little color can go a long way.

Next up is style versus sensibility. Ladies and gents, let's turn now to the oldest profession for our next helpful hint. The hookers on the corner show style when they dress--sensibility be damned! These men and women know how to showcase what they are selling. Now, once again, I'm not suggesting that those in my chosen profession wander around in 5 inch stilettos, a plether micromini, and a tube top. No, I think that might be even scarier than the potato sack dress. However, we should wear clothes that show a bit of style so that when patrons check out the latest What Not to Wear, they don't spontaneously hand it back to us and say, "Here, you need it more than I do." Throw away those orthopedic-inspired shoes and get something that is both comfortable AND flattering. You do not have to walk around like Eddy Munster with cinder block shoes!

These are just a few helpful hints to aid you, my fellow librarians, each morning as you roam through the vast sea of colorless frocks that have chosen your closet as their finally resting place. Rise above the taupe, black and navy that seem to dominate our palate and open yourself to the possibility of a little red, lime, and bright blue (NOT TOGETHER THOUGH! VERY BAD!!!). Check out the second editions of the tweeds--you can be a classic with a modern flair. Anything, my librarian lads and lasses, anything to stop the tragicness that is our wardrobe.

RL,
who dresses quite fashionably and so is allowed to judge.

2 1/2 Hours Later...

2005-04-26T16:57:00.000-05:00

It's a fantastically beautiful spring Sunday. I decide that I'm going to run some errands, one of which is to get the oil changed in the Saab. I'm feeling a little cheap (as well as the fact not many other places change oil on Sundays), so I decide to go to Wal-Mart. Now, generally speaking, I try to be fairly socially responsible and not use Wal-Mart unless it is absolutely necessary (they are the only people to provide the product/service or they are literally the only thing available within 60 miles--thank you, Charleston). So, I propositioned my soul, sucked it up and went to Wal-Mart.

I pull up right outside the bay (like you do at any quick change oil place) and get out of my car. The attendant immediately starts screaming at me to move. Hey, no problem dude, but can we please stop the screaming? So I move the car. I then walk into the "Customer Safety Zone" and patiently wait for the attendant to take my order (again, b/c this is what you normally do here). He finally wanders over and tells me I need to go inside. Fine. I tell the attendant inside I need an oil change and he hands me a slip that I can apparently hold under any scanner to find out the status of my car. I begin my long trek around the store. I check out everything. I was even almost tempted to purchase something (see, that's how they getcha), but I refrained, confident in the fact that my car would soon be released from its torment, thus releasing me from mine.

I wander over to the nearest scanner and discover that my car is "waiting." I begin another wander through the store. Again, I stop at the scanner and it says that my car is "waiting." Now I'm getting a little concerned as I've already been here 45 minutes. I decide to actually do a visual check. The car was indeed in the bay. I sit down and wait some more. 45 more minutes pass and my car is still sitting in the bay. I get up and ask my pimple-infested attendant what exactly is taking so long. He wanders outside and wanders back in at least 10 minutes later. It seems that the moron in charge of my car emptied out the transmission fluid instead of the oil, he isn't sure what kind to put back in, and do I happen to know? Umm, no. Oh, and also since the moron "thought" he had emptied out the oil, he began to fill up the oil only to now have twice the quantity of oil that any vehicle needs. And, the oil cap (now that the local moron has figured out which one it is), is apparently stuck and so he needs to wait for the manager.

2 1/2 hours later, the car is ready to go home. Apparently, the local moron had never changed the oil in a Saab. Thankfully, I did not have to go psycho bitch to get it free. In fact, I didn't even have to bring it up--they just did it without me even asking. Of course, it took them another 10 minutes to figure out how to ring it up for free.

RL,
who feels her life is shorter now.

A Little Late

2005-04-22T19:33:00.000-05:00

And here is the Friday Five.

1. What is the first record/tape/CD that you bought?
Ugg. This is embarassing. Anyone remember the Jets? Tragic, but "I've Got a Crush on You."

2. Who is your favorite all time band/singer?
Have y'all NOT been paying attention? Obviously, it's the Indigo Girls.

3. What have you been listening to lately?
The Indigo Girls, Sugarland, Amy Ray and Madeleine Peyroux

4. What is your favorite radio station, what do they play, and where do they broadcast?
NPR (WILL AM in Urbana, IL) if I'm in my car. KFOG (San Fransico) if I'm at work.

5. Can you recommend a good song or CD that everyone should listen to?
Girlyman. They will blow you away with their delicious harmonies, witty lines, and social commentary.

RL

Collecting Me

2005-04-21T17:49:00.000-05:00

I’ve been thinking a lot about how we develop our personalities. I always tell people that I’m an equal mix of both of my parents—a total and complete, 50/50 split in the genes department. My mom is always saying what is on her mind, quick to anger, holds a grudge like a champ until there is a family difficulty and then sticks to her family like glue (All of her fam is like that—they can say they aren’t speaking to each other, but the second anyone has a medical crisis, they are right there. Of course, they’ll bitch and bicker the whole time, but whatever.), never admits when she is wrong, and is highly aggressive. My father, on the other hand, is much more reserved and even tempered (that is until he gets really pissed and then his face turns red and he can’t even speak—it’s kinda comical, actually), more willing to talk through a problem, likely to find the middle ground right away (i.e. concede), and is extremely passive. There’s more, but you get the idea.

Most people would argue, and rightfully so that this is a good mix in a relationship—two people who can compliment each other in a host of ways and challenge the other to look at problems in a different light. It is, however, an extremely dangerous thing when you mix the two into one person. What do you think you get when you mix a passive person with an aggressive person? That’s right—a passive/aggressive person. In recent months I have become quite the champ at this particular facet of my personality and the quitting smoking thing is SOOO not helpful in controlling that. It’s also very frustrating when you want to argue passionately with someone about a topic. You find yourself all fired up and then you have to stop b/c you either: a) are overcome with the overwhelming urge to kill the person and swear to never to talk to them again, b) are overcome with an equally overwhelming urge to concede your opponent’s points so that you can go bond and be best friends, or c) your head has turned an unfortunate shade of red and all you can do is blather incoherently, mostly to yourself.

OK, so now you’re thinking, “Dude, how old are you? Lady, it’s time to find your own way and either pick a side or else make the two work together.” Easier said than done, my friend. I've been trying for some time now, and I can tell you neither one wants to cooperate. The best I can hope for on any given day is that I can chose the best side to get whatever job done that needs to be done. Most days, I fail.

Hoping I do better tomorrow,
RL

Aggregate This!

2005-04-20T15:47:00.000-05:00

Well, I've got it figured out! The RSS, that is. I used this handy site to help me select a reader and I was off and running! I'm testing it out on my computer at work for right now as that is where I spend the most time in front of the computer. Plus, if I find enough library-related feeds, I can write this little experiment off as actual work. I have a Mac at work, so this really only applys to you fellow Mac users, but I went with PulpFiction and MiNews. I'm giving them both a whirl. So far, I think I'm digging the MiNews better b/c it doesn't automatically subscribe you to a bajillion things that you don't care about. Umm, sorry, but I'm not much of a golfer, so I don't really care about the sport. I've signed up for 9 feeds so far this afternoon and I already have 149 things to read. If any of you come across some good feminist/alternate media syndications, PLEASE pass them on! I'm also looking for good librarian ones, but I'm guessing I'm on my own with that one.

Enough geek talk--as you can all see, I'm in a much better mood as of late. My doc has me on some new allergy medicine that is working very well. Turns out a girl can get down right cranky if she can't breathe and thus thinks that she is dying. Sadly though, this might make it harder to stay on the non smoking side of the resturant. So far, no major cravings, but I also haven't walked into a bar since this weekend. Here's hopin'! As long as I don't buy a pack, the shame of bumming is bound to catch up with me soon.

Oh, also some good stuff might be going down at work. I don't want to spill right here so as not to jinx it, but keep your fingers crossed for me on the 28th of April. If anything comes of that day, good or baad, I'll pass it along.

RL

Ratzinger...Really?

2005-04-19T13:51:00.000-05:00

I'm a bit stunned, though not really shocked, by the announcement of Ratzinger (AKA Benedict XVI) as the new pope. Ever since John Paul II fell ill and subsequently passed away, I've been sticking with the majority of people thinking that it was going to be an Italian. I was, however, secretly hoping for Cardinal Arinze of Nigeria. He would really break a lot of ground, though I don't really agree with his stance on contraception, especially on a continent that has the largest occurence of new AIDS cases reported each year. This, of course, would have played in his favor, but at 72, he's much too young to follow up a papacy that lasted 25 years. I knew something was up when during Ratzinger's homily right before the cardinals entered into deliberations centered mostly around maintaining the conservative teachings of John Paul II, etc., etc. I just hoped that it might be different, though I don't know what I was looking for--every single one of the serious contendors would not be considered liberal by any stretch of the definition. I guess I was hoping they wouldn't pick THE MOST conservative.

On another note, I'm thinking about learning more about RSS--anyone wanna help? I know what it does (gathers together headlines), but I'm a bit confused about this aggregator business and how one signs up for these feeds. HELP ME, PLEASE!

Plus, I'm also sad that I had to miss David Sedaris last night. He was at the Virgnia Theatre and it would have been so very great to see him perform. I, however, was stuck in my boring Network Administration class. GRRRR.

Let's see, something good that happened--still not smoking and my huge bibliography is almost done (shooting for tomorrow morning).

see, I CAN be hopeful too,
RL

Building Safety Nets Under My Feet

2005-04-16T14:49:00.000-05:00

That's a really good line from a great song by Girlyman. Y'all should check them out. Their harmonies kick butt!

The Friday Five was a bit of a downer this week, so I decided to skip it. As you can see from previous posts, I'm fully capable of being a bit of a downer all on my own, thank you.

The funk is improving. Or, rather, perhaps not improving so much as now is identifiable, thanks to a possible theory--the lack of cigarettes and caffeine has sent my body into a bit of a tailspin with all the non-badness flowing through it. Fear not though...alcohol is still very much present (I haven't gone totally funny!). I'd been listening to David Sedaris's "Plague of Ticks" when I got the brilliant idea that perhaps my weird behavior can be explained with the removal of nicotine. In the story, he discusses the strange behaviors (smacking his head with his shoe, obsessively lining up things, licking stairs) that manifested when his family moved when he was young, and how they subsided in his college years because he discovered cigarettes. The last line is my favorite, and I think is appropriate: "People who ask me to not smoke in their car have no idea what they are in for." P. is discovering that as of late. I haven't tried to count all the hairs that the dog leaves behind on a daily basis, but I have been truly strange in my own, special way.

As a side note, did you all know that cigarette smoking is linked with increased brain activity? See, there is a reason why all the smart people smoke. Plus, I don't care what people say, it does look cool, especially when you can pull off the moody-but-with-depth look.

I feel any smarts/coolness I had slipping away
RL

Back to School, All Brilliant and New

2005-04-14T17:36:00.000-05:00

So, I've been thinking a lot about high school as of late. Maybe it's because I've been listening to Prom and someone else's take on high school, or maybe it's because I'm in a funk that hasn't been this deep since those confused/sad/irritating days so many years ago. It's like this horrible sweater that even though it's scratchy and doesn't match anything you own anymore, you just can't seem to shake it, though you are desperate to do so. You think the dog has eaten it, that it's been lost in a move, or you've actually watched the horrid thing burn, but it keeps showing up, little bits everywhere you turn on some days and only a few bits of yarn on others. This time though, I think I can use it to my advantage and learn a wee bit.

I have a high school friend that reflects often on those times at the 'ridge. I usually just smile and nod to myself because it's not a time I like to reflect on because I always think I'm over it. And, rest assured, dear friend, you are not at all the source of this pain--getting my little teenage heart broken is just part of the same hand that everyone is dealt in high school; I have always accepted it as a normal right of passage, kind of like taking the ACTs.

This same friend has another friend who also has a blog. Said person posted a link to her blog in friend's blog. I decided to follow this link because this person was someone that I also knew from high school and who, quite frankly, has always intrigued me. She is someone I would have liked to have gotten to know in high school, but alas, circumstances rarely if ever worked in my favor at that point in my life. She was a year older, much wiser, a bit of a smart-ass, and in a totally different social sphere, i.e. she had one. While I lurked in the shadows and nursed hurts that did and did not exist, she was outspoken, doing all of the things I wished so desperately to do. She was never afraid to speak her mind and forge a path totally different from everyone else. There was one truly huge time that I can remember that I was able to accomplish something even close to the depth of conviction that I could sense from her: I stood up to the yearbook committee (including several teachers, not just the normal high school bitches) about whether I would or would not wear a dog collar and leash to be commemorated forever and ever in the yearbook, and I dare say that it was because of this person, though I never once discussed it with her, and I don't even think she knows anything about the event.

Anyway, like I said, I was reading her blog, and I found a post that really struck me. I'm not going to discuss even generally what it said because I think that is totally wrong, but I will say that I have a new perspective. Basically, this person who I thought was so together (remember, I didn't/don't actually know this person, so you can see how truly stupid it was of me to think that in the first place) appears to have many of the same hesitations that I do about those four oh-so-uncharmed years. We all suffered under the same stupid hierarchy and though we openly bitched about it, we were either powerless or unwilling to change it. It's so cliche and stupid, and I'm more than a little pissed at myself that it took me this long to re-learn this lesson. At any rate, big thanks to you, person from my past who will probably never read this (though it would be dandy if you did)--once again, you have inspired me to be different and better without even talking to me.

RL

It's Saturday and It's Time for PROM!!!!

2005-04-09T14:26:00.000-05:00

YEAH! It's here! So psyched! I don't think I've taken the disc out of any available CD player since I got it 2 1/2 hours ago. I WILL be annoying my crazy neighbors tonight with a little lesbian punk/rock. YEAH!

So, do you wanna hear all about it?! Sure ya do. But first, apparently some readers have no idea who Ms. Ray is, so I guess I have to give a short little lesson first. If you are already well aquintated with my favorite artist, you may move on. Amy Ray is one half of the Indigo Girls. This is her second solo release on the label that she owns, Daemon Records. When she goes solo, she's more likely to go electric and punk.

On to the good stuff! I HEART this album! It is so much better than her first solo album, Stag. I enjoyed Stag, but it's kind of a depressing album, at least for me. It's more about her identifying with the male side of her persona, which is totally cool, but in order to listen to it, I have to be in the mood to explore that side of myself as well. It happens often, but it's not an over-ridding theme in my life. Prom, however, is more about high school and the universal themes associated with that time in your life--questioning yourself, figuring out how you fit into the grand scheme, trying to fit in and finding it difficult. It's weird--I hated high school, but I love all of these songs, even though they are overwhelmingly positive about the high school experience. Maybe it's because it's the way I wished I could have been in high school--a little more sure of myself and a little more willing to be vocal (perhaps more articulate?) about my beliefs and identity.

I think that right now it's too hard to pick a favorite song. I really enjoy "Put It Out For Good," "Rural Faggot," and "Pennies on the Track." So as not to overwhelm/bore, I think I'll hold off on a blow-by-blow of each song. However, I strongly suggest that you all go out and buy a copy when it's available to the rest of the public on April 12th. It ROCKS!

"Those aren't your friends talking shit about you"
RL

Double Dose

2005-04-08T10:33:00.000-05:00

It's Friday again! Time for the Friday Five! And, because I missed last week's thanks to the most boring meeting EVER, you get a double dose. ENJOY!

For today:

1. What is the one book that you reread over and over again?
I only get to choose one? GRRR. OK, the one book that I go to the most often is Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. I also like rereading the Harry Potter books.

2. What is your favourite genre?
Non-fiction short essays. I heart Sarah Vowell and David Sedaris!

3. Do you usually buy your books or visit the library?
Well, let's see--I work in a LIBRARY! What do you think?

4. Who is your favourite author?
Sarah Vowell and David Sedaris. As you noticed above, I heart them.

5. What book have you read that you absolutely hated?
If I hate it, I don't read it. I try to give all books a chance though.

And last week's:

1) What's the one movie you've seen more times than any other?
Umm, didn't I answer this in the last Friday Five? OK, here it is again--Bridget Jones's Diary.

2) If you could turn one book, comic book or other print story into a feature-length movie, what story would you pick and why?
David Sedaris had one of his books optioned, but it seems to have been dropped. I would pick it up again and I would choose Me Talk Pretty One Day. This is one of my favorites b/c it's all about his struggles with language (lisping in the early years--"Go, Carolina!"--and trying to learn French in his adult years. I think it also includes the story about his stint as an instructor at an arts college in Chicago. I can totally identify with the not really knowing how you are supposed to teach, though I don't think I would encourage my students to smoke in class as an aid to the writing process. Smoke on your own time--I'm trying to QUIT!

3) Whom would you cast?
Man, I hate questions like that. I can barely remember my own name, what makes you think I'll be able to recall the names of actors? If you can think of any guy who's short, very slight of build, and has a voice that sounds like a 12 year old girl, pass his name on to me. Oh, here's an obvious one--cast Amy Sedaris in the role of Amy Sedaris, David's younger sister. There, I did one.

4) What one movie would you like to see "updated for the year 2005"? (Ie, a remake)
Uggh. I hate remakes.

5) What one movie are you most looking forward to this year?
Don't hate me, but I kind of think the new Ashton Kutcher/Amanda Peet film looks pretty cool. I also can't wait for the next Harry Potter. Does that come out this year?

Exhausted and shit
RL

Can't wait for the PROM!!!!

2005-04-06T20:05:00.000-05:00

YEAH! It's been a while since I've said that and even longer since I meant it! As most of you either know or have figured out, I am well beyond the years of going to the prom as anything but a chaperone. No, what I'm talking about is Amy Ray's second solo album entitled Prom. I'm SOOOO very excited! Her label finally began taking pre-orders on Monday, and I surely hope that I was one of the first people. The first 100 get an autographed copy AND a poster and the first 1000 get a poster. I'm sure that I at least made it in the first 1000. I know there are a ton of ARay fans, but surely not 1000 that would order in the first 2 minutes of ordering. Plus, I should get it early! Just in time for the long ride with the annoying co-worker. I will most surely be blasting that one all down the road!

So, the amount of stupidity spewing forth from the non-Catholic part of the population since the pope's death is amazing. And, just so we are clear, I'm not talking about the non-Catholic (or Catholic, for that matter) people who are genuinely curious/confused by our odd rituals. I'm talking about the people who get all of their information from FOXNews (who, btw, had the pope dead on Friday afternoon around 3:00 p.m. CST, rather than on Saturday at 1:30 p.m. CST, just to name one of their many errors). A few of the stupid things I've heard so far:

Thing 1. So, who's the vice-pope?
Umm, George Bush. No, wait, he's not Catholic, he just thinks he's god.

Thing 2. Will the Catholic church fall into chaos without their direct link to God?
Yes. Clearly, we are all stupid and won't be able to survive the month until they elect a new pope. We just might go off and do something crazy like start the Inquisition all over again!

Thing 3. Do you think the next pope will be an American?
Without a doubt! Obviously American priests are top notch and have the BEST reputation in the whole world.

People are dumb.

I heart the song "Rural Faggot." Here are the lyrics, in case you're curious and/or have me confused with some sort of bigot who just likes to use the word faggot. Cause I'm not, and I don't.

"I know you want to know the truth/
And I’m the dyke who will give it to you."
RL

Where's my caffeine?

2005-04-05T15:09:00.000-05:00

Man, I'm tired today! I'm trying to get myself on a new schedule that involves waking up early so that I can walk the dog and perhaps eat breakfast at home rather than in the car or at work. The walking the dog thing went OK, but still no time to eat, so that means even earlier! urgg.

Blah, blah, boring.

Anyway, work has been mad busy and will probably continue to be through the middle of next week. For the internship, we are getting ready for Advocacy Day at the Capital. It should be fun--good chance to network and whatnot. It's also a chance to really prove my worth to my bosses and work on turning this part-time intership into a full-time gig. Here's hoping! I really like what I do, plus it's an excellent way to get a lot of experience in a lot of differnt areas. Plus, it means less moving, which is always a plus. I like my little town. It's cute and rather useful most times.

It was P.'s birthday yesterday, but b/c of the Illini game, we didn't get to do anything together. He golfed in the afternoon in between his work duties and I did boring stuff on my day off. He didn't get home until 11:00, so there really wasn't much to do.

I really thought that in typing this, I might think of at least one witty thing to say.

Sorry to dissapoint,
RL

The Whining Post

2005-03-30T19:57:00.000-06:00

Uggh.

What a blah day. It started off so beautifully--lovely sunshine, lovely temp--and then I had to go to class and then to work. I think I was outside about 20 minutes total today. And now, when I leave work, I will be getting poured on. Can't wait!

I came home today for supper, just like always, and the stupid dog had peed on the floor, though I took her out when I was home at lunch. GRRRR!

I have a piss load of work to do for my internship and not really enough time to do it. I've had to sneak hours out of my other job that I do at the same library in order to get it all done. At least I get a good, comped meal on Thursday night out of the whole deal. Hopefully it is better than last time.

So, if the power goes out here at work, I'm totally screwed. There's a huge power-down-the-servers-gracefully thing that has to be done within about 15 minutes of an outage before the backup goes out as well. Should be fun. Please do not let the power go out until 9:05 when I am safely removed from the building and hence all responsibility.

I have so much homework to do it isn't even funny! I need like a week off work to get it all done. I might call in sick sometime after Advocay Day is over so that I can get my shit done.

whiner,
RL

White Trash Easter

2005-03-28T18:53:00.000-06:00

I drove to my parent's neck of the state for Easter this past Sunday. What a treat! It's been a while since I've seen that whole family all together, and I forgot what a delight and joy this wonderfully weird concaction of people can be.

A few highlights from my 2 hour visit:

*Discovering that my cousin, Ginger, has no teeth. As if she didn't spit enough when she talked.
*Learning the steps involved in starting a proper fire, courtesy of 2 older cousins. Step 1--Gather wood. Step 2--Gather starter materials (cardboard boxes will do nicely). Step 3--Apply an accelerant (for now, let's just start with lighter fluid). Step 4--Add flame. Step 5--Determine that fire is not nearly progressing fast enough--add more starter materials. Step 6--Try to catch burning cardboard boxes before they go into house/people. Setp 7--Decide that you need more accelerant instead. Apply liberal amounts of gasoline from an approved plastic container. Step 8--Fire is good now, though you must now attempt to put out the fire burning in the gasoline container by rolling it around on the dry ground. Step 9--Gather people around to marvel at your fantastic skill.
*Watching a cousin "discipline" her child by screaming at the thing. The child then screams back at her. On the plus side, at least she's interacting with him rather than sneaking smokes, getting drunk, and fucking just about anything that has something penis-like between it's legs.
*Learning (from the father of cousin listed above) that cousin listed above got younger cousin sick drunk. Had high hopes for younger cousing--not now.
*Listening to my 13 year old cousin's response to this question: "So Sam, how are you?" "Same shit, different day." This only made stranger in that I haven't heard this child speak since he was 10.
*Trying to go pee in a bathroom that literally glows with the multitude of color spewing out of it.
*Listening to the screams of no less than 10 children under the age of 5 as they fight over toys. The parents are no where in sight.
*Watching a child throw rocks and sticks at his parents' car. His father's response--"Which car is it? It better not be the marroon one! Oh, it's the van? That's OK." PS The van is actually a rather OK looking minivan.

Happy Little Easter!
RL

Whoops!

2005-03-26T16:15:00.000-06:00

I made a big boo boo today. While at work, I was trying to send 3 rather large emails to myself so that I could open them at home and work on them from there. I waited the appropriate amount of time before sending each one out and made sure it was under the size limit. Well, I only got one and now I appear to have blocked myself out of my work email. Very bad. Unfortunately, it won't be fixed until Tuesday morning. GRRRR. I'm kind of hoping that the problem will just correct itself within the next 24 hours when the server goes in and cleans up things.

Only 40 minutes left at work today! Yeah! I had high hopes to do a lot of homework this afternoon at work (hey, I'm all alone with not much to do every single Saturday of my life--I deserve some sort of perk!), but it hasn't really happened. I've gotten myself worked into quite a frenzy trying to sort out this email problem. I know that it's going to piss off my coworker (she's the network admin and I'm supposed to be her assistant and therfore I am supposed to know about how these things work--I don't) and she is not very pleasent when she is pissed off.

I think I'm going to stop at the store and pick up a bottle of wine and either Chinese take away or else purchase something to cook. Which do you think it'll be?....Yeah, you're probably right--Chinese it is!

RL

Comments, Please!

2005-03-25T10:06:00.000-06:00

Hey there people!

Since I don't have a counter, it would be great if every now and then you could leave a comment, just so I can get the warm fuzzy feeling that someone is reading my diary. Thanks!!

Anyway, on to the Friday Five--They posted it early today!

1. What is your favorite movie of all time?
Bridget Jones's Diary.

2. How often do you watch this movie?
I go in spurts--I'd say I probably watch it about 12 times a year, though not necesarily once a month.

3. What's your favorite line out of the whole movie?
Oh Lord, there are so many. Give me a minute with this one. Oh, I've got one. I'm fond of repeating the line "Good plan!" It's not really the funniest, but I like the determination in her voice. There's another good one that is going to take me some time to remember. It starts "I will not be..." It's when she gets drunk of vodka and listens to Chaka Khan. Maybe someone out there can help me out?!?!

4. Who's your favorite character from this movie?
Mark Darcy, of course. He's HOT! I love the uptight British thing.

5. What scene do you love the most?
The fight scene. It's hillarious to see two grown men fight as two grown men would actually fight in the real world--hair pulling, kicking and bouncing away. It's refreshing to see a dose of realism.

RL

Southland in the Springtime...sort of

2005-03-23T19:42:00.000-06:00

Hello lovely bloggy! It's been a wee bit since I've seen you.

I do, however, have a fantastic reason--I was down visiting my friend in Chattannooga, TN. It was FANTASTIC!!!!! The drive down was lovely, though it was very early (I left at 4 a.m. CST--wanted to make sure that I got the most possible time down there). The drive through the mountains was OK, though coming down into the valley, some fucktard was trying to pass on the right right in front of me and almost caused an accident. In my defense, I was NOT the one going super slow--it was a U-Haul that was actually trying to get out of the way. It shook me up a bit, but everything was just fine. Once I got to Chat, I spent an hour trying to find the campus--it's very pretty, but kind of in a weird place and signs aren't really a favorite helping aid in the south. We had lovely homemade pizza and watched _Dodgeball_--yes, I know that everyone else in the world has seen it, but whatever. I then spent much time in bed (but only after many lovely chats!) b/c I was very pooped.

On Monday, we spent all day in Atlanta--it was great fun!!! We ate at PFChangs and walked around the very expensive mall. We then went to Little Five Points (the hippy/alternative area of ATL). I was so proud of myself--I actually remembered how to get there with only a bit of aid from the map and one slight mess up that actually worked out to our advantage. We had much fun walking around and checking out all the cool stuff, though I spent too much time in a store that was burning every bit of incsence it had and walked out reeking of patchouli and having a wicked headache. However, that did not deter us from going to Charis, which is the alternative bookstore. It's a lovely cute little place that won't let you use your cell phone--I heart places like that--and has lot's of cool books and other neato things. I finally got a rainbow sticker for my car, but I haven't put it on yet b/c the backend of my car is too dirty. We then drove back to Chat and had a lovely dinner at Carraba's. There was much wine drinking and much making of rude conversation, but oh well. The south needs to be shaken up a bit--who ever said that blow jobs weren't appropriate for dinner talk? We went back to the apartment and continued with the wine drinking and generally being loud and silly.

I woke up with a HUGE headache the next day! Thankfully, we stayed in Chattannooga all day. We went to see the cute little downtown shops where I once again found the store burning a fistful of insencse. The headache was then unbearable and it was starting to rain, so we rented a movie and took a nap for the rest of the afternoon.

All in all, it was a fantastic little trip! The drive back wasn't too bad--I made it in 8 hours. Sadly, I had to be at work this evening. GRRR. Oh well. I technically didn't have enough vacation time available to take off this evening, though I could have been "sick." I just couldn't do that though.

Anyway, I'm pooped. I'm going to do a bit of reading to round out my evening here.
RL

Another Friday Five

2005-03-18T13:28:00.000-06:00

Because it's after lunch and they still haven't posted a new Friday Five, I'm going to do an old one.

1 thing that's on your mind right now
How much shit I have to get done before I leave for Chatanooga and how psyched I am that a good friend has joined the ranks of the engaged--Congrats again, Lisa!

2 songs you like
"The Shape I Found You In" by Girlyman, "Put it in a Blender" by Amy Ray, "Put it Out for Good" also by Amy Ray, "Atlanta" performed by Allison Krauss, and "Burn All the Letters" by the Indigo Girls.

3 things that make you angry
Not much makes me angry, though I did get downright pissed off when P. was THREE HOURS late on Wednesday. I'm also not too fond of the dog making messes on the floor (pee, poop, eating my clothes).

4 things that make you happy
P. (despite the lateness), warm weather, lemon flavored water, chocolate truffles, new haircuts, good friends.

5 people who have made a big impact on your life
They know who they are.

Last night I opened my email and there was a lovely message from Girlyman (the best up and coming folk/pop/country harmonious gender questioning trio you will EVER hear!) that their CD was available for pre-order. For the amazingly low prize of $25, I will have the new CD delivered to me early with all three of their wonderful siggy's. I about fell all over myself trying to get my order in! Now, I'm just waiting ever so patiently for Amy Ray's solo album to be available for pre-order as well (her's comes out on April 12--Happy B-Day Lisa!). The first 100 to order get a signed copy. I hope I'm one of them! I almost just peed my pants b/c I just got an email from her record label--wasn't about the CD though. RATS! Soon, very soon!

RL

Feministy Terms, Defined

2005-03-17T15:59:00.000-06:00

Because a friend asked, a few feministy terms defined. If you already know these, you can check to make sure that I've got them right/that they are clear.

First Wave Feminist--the suffragists. A bit anachranistic to apply the term "first wave" to them as that is not what they called themselves, but without first, where would second have come from?

Second Wave Feminist--from the 1960-70's. The stereotype most people think of when they think of a feminist (which is so NOT true, but different rant for a different day). They brought up the big issues--equal pay for equal work, childcare, etc.

Third Wave Feminist--the feminist of today. Continuing the good work of the second wave, but generally more inclusive. However, they are criticized for not having a clear "agenda." B/c of my age/ideals, I am a third waver.

Womyn/Herstory--and other words. Attempts to reclaim/reshape words to deconstruct the dominate power structure--in this case, references to the masculine.

Anyone else have any other feministy words you would like me to define? This is good for me--I miss the days of talking/rambling/debating/yelling for an hour or more about gender/feminism/race issues/etc.

Graduation makes you soft.
RL

A New Gender Nation

2005-03-16T18:57:00.000-06:00

I'm getting totally pumped about going to Chattanooga! I leave in less than 4 days (4 a.m. on Sunday--OUCH! Totally worth it though!!!!!). So very psyched! I need to get away very badly. I need to feel warm sunshine on my bare legs. I actually want to see bugs (though not for too long--EWWW!).

I'm going to go into a *slight rant*, so if anyone wants to skip, now would be the time.

In the last few days, the Indigo Girls just announced an appearance at the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival. For those of you that have not heard of the festival, it is in it's 30th year and only women are allowed to attend. It was created so that women (I'm sorry, but I refuse to purposefully misspell the word woman--I will misspell a lot of other things on accident though!) can have a week of living in community with each other in a totally safe place. Women who attend are allowed to walk around without their tops (or any clothes, if the mood so strikes) and just generally do all the things that they aren't allowed to do in mixed company that men are. Sounds cool, right? I thought so too. When I first heard about it a few years ago, I totally wanted to go. However, I soon found out that they have a policy against allowing transgendered and intersexed people in to the festival. Of course, they don't go around checking to make sure that everyone has a vagina, but nonetheless, the policy of "womyn born womyn only" still exists.

Anyway, I've been watching the conversations on a couple of boards about this and it really has me thinking about a whole bunch of things that I can't quite formulate right here (what it means to be a 3rd waver, what needs to be done to make issues more inclusive, how excluding trans from the LGBT umbrella does no one any good, etc.). However, I will say that the most sad/disheartening thing that I have noticed is that there are (still) people out there who are members of the LGBT community who still think that it should just be LG. Some of the women that are voicing their opinions openly state that they believe that trans/intersexed people do not exist and that it's all just about dudes co-opting the female experience. These individuals totally discount the wide range of female experiences that they are supposedly embracing during this festival. Hello, what was 2nd wave feminism about!?!

I think that this has been on my mind so much b/c of my Virginia Woolf work as of late. I've been looking into the women who influenced her at the Hogarth Press, particularly her relationship with Vita Sackville-West. These two women were married to men and had outwardly hetero lives, but they were also romantically involved with each other. Of course, their husbands knew, and even though this "secondary" relationship was supposedly secret, pretty much the whole world knew then and all the rest know now. These women were able to navigate the tricky waters of bisexuality when there wasn't even a word for it! Plus, it appears that the vast majority of the LG community (if you could call it that) supported this type of arrangement, and even argued that having hetero marriages was the way to should be. What in the hell has happened! Now, apparantly you have to adhere to the politics/standards/ideals of aging lesbians if you want to be included!!! GRRRR!

End of rant.

Still fired up
RL

Friday Five

2005-03-11T11:26:00.000-06:00

This looked like something cute to kill the time until lunch. I must be getting better if I'm thinking about food non-stop! ;)

1) What was your favorite toy as a child?
A cardboard box. I'm not kidding. I spent many an hour in our basement playing "house" in that box. I had blankets and the whole thing in there. I was such a hobo! I also enjoyed the closet for the same reason.

2) What is your favorite toy now that you're "grown up"?
I'd have to say that my iPod shuffle is pretty much it for right now. I bring it everywhere just so I can show it off.

3) What is the most dangerous toy you had growing up?
We were too poor to have the latest toys, so I can't recall anything that was recalled or exploded. I think my brother was pretty dangerous to play with. He was fond of watching "wrestling" and then practising the moves on me...on our unpadded basement floor. Many a near concussion from that little activity. We could also be found launching each other out of the easy chair. One of us would sit in the chair with our knees to our chest and the other person would lean against the feet. One good hardy push and off you flew!

4) What is the most dangerous toy you have now?
Ummm...I don't think I have any "dangerous" toys. I don't even think I have any mildly amusing toys.

5) What one toy do you wish you had/have?
I wish I had a laptop at home.

Such a geek!
RL

On the Mend...

2005-03-11T08:43:00.000-06:00

Hello all!

I think my car and I are finally on the mend. I went home several hours early from work yesterday and laid on the couch most of the afternoon/evening. I think I got up several times to fill up my water (before P. got home), go pee from drinking so much water, and once to feed myself. I didn't really sleep, just was generally lazy and relaxed rather than running around like a mad woman. I spoke with a very friendly nurse on the phone who decided that I could probably take care of myself at home without meds, which is odd b/c they normally like to pimp the drugs and the doctors visits.

On to the car. I had one final repair to make before my big trip to Chattanooga in just over a week. Luckily, I knew a mechanic who owed us a favor and so I took it to him. It was the timing belt which can get pretty expensive. I dropped it off yesterday and he promptly called and said that several other belts needed to be replaced. I said sure b/c I can't have my car busting up down the highway. Moral of the story--it cost just a few pennies more to get all that work done at the dude who owed me a favor than it would have to get the timing belt fixed at the dealer. GO ME! I think that nearly all of the moving parts are brand new in my car, except for the engine, the transmission, and anything else that might be covered under my supposed "bumper-to-bumper" extended warranty. It figures that only "wearable parts" would break.

I found $40 in my pants today...it's going to be a good day, I think!
RL

LEEP Wekend

2005-03-09T20:42:00.000-06:00

So, this past weekend was LEEP weekend. I'll spare y'all the details, but basically it's required for my program that everyone come together once a semester and have class in a real classroom (not our pj's at home like normal). The cool thing is that you get to catch up with people that you haven't seen in forever and are scattered all over the globe.

Well, this LEEP weekend sucked. I was sooo not on the ball with contacting people and just let it slide until the last minute. Well, I ended up feeling like ass and having about 100 other commitments (since I'm local, I don't take time off of work to do this required thing--I just plan around work), so I didn't see anyone. It made me sad, b/c for a lot of us, this is the last time to be on campus. Sure, I've got another semester to go, but most are gone after May and are not coming back for the ceremony. It makes me sad that I wasn't more on the ball, but at least I know that I've at least got people to hang out with in these other cities if I ever find myself there.

Well, it's almost time for work to be over. YIPPEE!!! I hate Wednesday nights so much--it sucks being here until 9:00 p.m. for no real reason. GRRRR.

RL

The Old Lady Post

2005-03-08T10:42:00.000-06:00

Steroids are soooo not my best friend! I don't remember this from the last time I had asthma, but the steroid inhaler makes me crazy jittery. It's getting better, but I still bounce and shake for about 20-40 minutes after I take the thing. This is apparently normal, but it still sucks.

In addition to the asthma, I think that I'm coming down with a cold. I couldn't keep my eyes open last night and had to make some real effort to get out of bed this morning. The coughing is getting worse, but I can't tell if that's a cold thing or my asthma (when I was younger, the only sign I had of an attack was coughing and the inevitable shortness of breathe that accompanies any coughing fit).

All right, that's enough with the old lady illness update.

I went to an alumni event this past weekend. It was fun. I got to hang out with my friend from Chattanooga (woo hoo--only 12 more days and I will be down there!) and see some other recent alums I hadn't seen in a while. I also got to see an alum that I met years ago in Mexico while I was on a volunteer trip. I had no idea that she was back in the States, let alone living in the area. It was great to see her, though I don't think she really remembers who I am. At that time, she was the permanent volunteer at a daycare that had a lot of volunteers going through.

Not too much else going on--I'm tired, have nothing to do at work, and I am bored out of my mind. Maybe I'll go play on the internet and find something useful to talk about.

RL

Relief!

2005-03-04T16:20:00.000-06:00

As it turns out, there was a reason why I felt like crap--my childhood asthma has come out of it's latency and entered into full blown adult form. I now am a geek with an inhaler. Aah, just like the good old days. Quick, where are my braces!? As an added bonus, my childhood stuttering has also returned, though to a lesser degree. I thought I kicked that habit in 1st grade. WTF!?

Only a quarter of my life has passed me by--what's with the already beginning to regress?

RL

Crap and debt

2005-03-04T10:33:00.000-06:00

Ugggh. I feel like crap today. I've felt like crap for the last two days, actually. It feels like something is sitting on my chest. I want to cough, but when I try, I either can't or else start to and begin to feel like I'm going to throw up. The doctor and I are going to have a little visit today--this is just too weird.

In other news, P. and I paid off 3 more credit cards this month. What a feeling! 4 down and only 5 more to go! Woo Hoo! Of course, the ones that are left are the most difficult, highest balance ones, but still. We should be able to get at least one more paid off this year and do some significant damage to the others. That means we are closer to the dream of buying a house! If only I could convince him that we never need to leave the apartmet or spend any money except for food and the occasional rented movie, we could have it all paid off in 12 months. Fat chance that's going to happen and good luck with me sticking to it too!

I'm going to go find my boss so that I can get my work down and leave for the rest of the afternoon...we'll see how she likes that one. She saw me resting on the couch earlier this morning and started to get all huffy with me like I was just taking it easy because I was lazy or something. She felt bad when I told her how I crummy I felt.

RL

I've killed way more than one tree tonight

2005-02-28T19:44:00.000-06:00

Class is boring me--the teacher said, "Go get a beer," so that's what I'm doing whilst (god, I love that word!) updating my blog. He's talking about style sheets, and I already understand them and am therefore excused. YIPPEE!

I've been working on getting all of my materials together for the Viginia Woolf bibliography that I'm working on which means a lot of printing. I don't think my little machine has quite in the last hour and I haven't even sent half of the stuff I need to the printer. I also have about 30 books sitting on the floor. It's just about as bad as when I was writing my thesis several years ago. At least this time, I don't have to go into so much detail with the reading. I'm just doing annotations of each and moving on. Oh, and writing a 10-20 page paper justifying/explaining my work and laying out the general arguement and such.

I'm totally loving my iPod shuffle! I have nothing to compare it to as I'm too cheap/poor to have bought the more expansive iPods, and I don't really trust the longevity of the other companies' devices. Very much suggest getting one.

RL

I'm going to do it...finally!

2005-02-25T11:39:00.000-06:00

All right, I have had enough with the punchy, colorful commercials of silhouetted figures jirating to the sounds of U2. The colors, the sounds--it's all too much for one girl to resist. You have convinced me--I'll do it, OK. In fact, I'm going to go to it in about 20 minutes, you have charmed me so throughly. I have broken down and decided to buy an iPod. It's going to be one of those wee little Shuffles. It only holds 120 songs, but I think that's enough for me--it translates into about 8 hours of musical pleasure. For an additional $50, I could double the number of songs, which sounded totally enticing. Then, for another $50, I could get 1000 songs. And so on and so forth. It was a slippery little slope I was heading down and now I'm back to the smallest (size and byte wise) iPod in the family.

Off to spend money I shouldn't...
RL

Funny!

2005-02-24T10:38:00.000-06:00

So, it's kind of a slow day at work today and my cube-mate was going through some emails. All of a sudden, I hear this un-godly racket spewing out of her computer. She then sends it to me. Click here if you want to see what is so funny. You'll have to have QuickTime in order to view it.

ENJOY!
RL

Public diaries

2005-02-23T20:12:00.000-06:00

I had a friend ask me the other day, "Why do you keep a public diary? Isn't that kind of prententious?" I've been thinking about that for a while and trying to find a good way to answer him, but I had previously come up empty-handed. I started keeping it b/c it seemed like a good exercise in writing, something that I hadn't been doing a lot of. It also seemed like a good way to test my internal filters--how much is too much, how much can I give away without feeling like a complete toad, etc. Those are all fine reasons for me, but I still wondered why I chose a public forum.

This semester, my big school project is to create a bibliogrpahy of some topic. Mine is Virginia Woolf, the women in her life, and how these relationships influenced her work and Hogarth Press. I've got a really awesome title, but I'll save that for another time. Anyway, I've been doing my research and I came across an article that references an entry in V.W.'s diary. Basically, she wonders what will happen to these writings after she's dead and she muses that Leonard (her husband) will probably sift through them and publish the good ones and trash the others (at her request). She even goes so far as to suggest that there might be enough decent material for a whole book. The point of this is that though she was keeping the diary for her private use (a way to work out demons/storylines, complain/muse about the day, etc.), she still had an eye to the final, published product. And, of course, there are many copies of her diaries from the complete set down to numerous abridgements.

I guess the long answer to my friend is that, yes, there is a bit of hubris in publishing my thoughts for the world to see on a sort of daily basis, but that's OK. I dare say there might be a little book in here. The rest can be burned later.

RL

iTunes

2005-02-18T10:14:00.000-06:00

I totally heart iTunes. I'm not advanced enough to have an iPod (actually, I'm just too poor, but the Shuffle looks better and better everyday--fingers crossed), but at work, I have access to iTunes. Every couple of days, I bring in a new CD, insert, press the handy import button and all of a sudden, I have access to that CD for the rest of the life of the machine. It's great! Yeah, I'm sure that you can accomplish with a PC and MediaPlayer, but I'm sure it's way more complicated.

Anyway, I'm getting way psyched--tour dates are beginning to be released for Amy Ray's solo album. YEAH! Of course, I can't attend any of the dates listed so far, but there are also only three. Soon, soon.

Also, plans are in the mix to visit my friend in TN--the previous plans had to be nixed because I was starting a new job, but this time, I WILL get it done!

RL

A trip to the past

2005-02-16T10:13:00.000-06:00

Crap, it's been a while since I updated.

Not much going on though, so perhaps that is why. I'm still trying to settle into my new routine at work while still keeping track of the two classes I'm in. Having moderate success.

I got to make a trip back to my alma mater this past week for work. That was a bit weird. It's only an hour away from where I am now, but I've largely avoided it b/c it just never seemed like the right time to go back. However, since I was forced, I went. Overall, it was good. I got to see some former colleagues that I hadn't seen in forever. I got to see a former mentor that made me wish I hadn't seen her b/c she was as self-centered as usual, though it was good to have the distance that time can give you and be able to see the situation for what it is (long story--not something you really share on your 4th entry).

I've just found out recently that Girlyman and IG will be coming fairly close to me, though they are not touring together--must get out to see them!

Have a super day!
RL

Blurry Eyed

2005-01-30T10:13:00.000-06:00

So, I promised myself last night that I would not get on the computer for any reason, and yet, here I am. I recently started working full-time and the majority of that work is done in front of a computer (2 actually--I have a Mac and a PC on my desk). I'm two weeks into my new responsabilities and my eyes are going all wonky. I promised that on my days off I would rest my eyes...

Watching as my brother and his girlfriend make their wedding preparations makes me think about my own wedding wackiness. Matty is getting married one day before my first wedding anniversary, so he's basically going through all the same stuff at the same time--at least, he should be, if it weren't for the fact that is girlfriend has the entire wedding planned already. Oh, yeah, and that he's a guy and so doesn't have to do that much.

My mom thinks that it is my lack of planning skills that delayed many wedding decisions until the last possible minutes. I, however, I like to think that some of these delays were based on the fact that I was working quite a lot, making zero dollars, and going to school more or less full time, all whilst searching for jobs that made more than zero dollars and planning a wedding. So, anyway, I was sitting at work yesterday and my cell starts ringing--it's Matty's girlfriend and she wants to know my shoe size. I told her that was a hard thing to guess at considering I am hundreds of miles away from said shoes. It ranges and changes based on the brand and even the style, sometimes. Now, while I think that it is *slightly* odd to already be picking out shoes for the bridesmaids, I can at least admire her fortitude at spotting a good deal when she sees it. However, she has yet to pick out dresses for us. This, to me, seems totally backwards when you are planning matching wear for a group of people. If it is yourself, sure, go ahead and pick out a purse and build a whole outfit around it, but not for a group.

RL

Put it in a blender

2005-01-22T10:11:00.000-06:00

It is an absolutely frigid day here in Illinois. The snow is coming down in swirls and there are white out conditions. I'm currently trapped at work (not literally--it's only the clock that is keeping me here).

I don' t know where I would be without the Amy Ray boots I just downloaded. She's working on a new album and I'm totally addicted to the song "Put it in a Blender." The song covers a lot of topics, from segregation, to busing, to gender identity, but I think that my favorite lines are these:

i had a sex education
without a word from my gender
all these half-hearted tries
i said put 'em in a blender
and let me get the hang
of how we can fit together
and still keep our identity

I've been thinking a lot about gender and identity lately. I got kind of burned out on the topic while doing my first Master's, but now the topic has resurfaced in my mind once again. I like the image of putting ideas about gender into a blender and seeing what comes out. There are days when I totally identify as ultra-fem and it's reflected in just about everything I do--I put on a skirt, ultra-high heels, makeup, the whole thing. Then, there are other days when I identify more strongly with the boy in me. I wear the pants I got from the men's department (they fit way better than any pair of women's jeans anyway!) and any shirt that isn't tight, frilly, or pink. I think my coworkers either think I'm on crack or really lazy somedays, but it's not about not caring what I look like on the days I id more strongly with the boy in me--it actually takes me longer to get ready on those days--it's something else I can't even articulate. "Putting it into a blender," though, that just might work.

It's a new day!

2005-01-20T10:11:00.000-06:00

Perhaps a bit about me, you ask? OK!

I am currently enrolled in library school and work as, what else, a lirarian for a system in Illinois. I help maintain the hardware that runs the automation system (the reason why your friendly librarian doesn't have to write down by hand the items you want to take home and why you can order books from other libraries) for over 90 libraries in a east central Illinois. This, to me, is hillarious because I don't know the first thing about running a network, or at least, I didn't until I started this job. Now I know about 2 things. In my previous life, I worked as an adjunt (re. tossed about and crapped upon because of low status in academic heirarchy) English instructor for various and assorted collleges in afore mentioned east central Illinois. It was a blast and I really did enjoy my students, but I got fed up with not knowing from one semester to the next if I had a job. Thus, I entered library school so that I could go back to the academic life but know that my position was secure.

Three months ago, I got married. I could dither on about how wonderful he is, but I'd rather skip that for now. He really is fantastic, but I don't think I want to get things going on that note.

I have one dog named Micaela (yes, I spelled it right--we can all thank the now husband for that spelling). She's cute, but not all together useful, unless you like going out in the sub-artic Illinois weather to take her poop.

It is late and I'm going to bed.
RL

The Left Hand

2004-10-27T15:56:00.000-05:00

Last night during class, I was leading my students through a discussion on internet identity, and we read a great (though dated) essay on the concept of changing all aspects of your identity online. The essay mentioned the book The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursala K. LeGuin. As none of my students had ever read it and I had seen fit to devour it at least fourteen times, I felt it kind of my duty to help them understand the work a bit better. The twelve line blurb given in the essay was hardly sufficient for a novel that attempts to tackle space travel, sociology, and gender identity. It barely whets the pallatte. Once I began, I expected my students to have a thoughtful discussion on the absense of gender identification and how that could impact their understanding of themselves. I should have known better. These are the same students who demanded to be let out two hours early because the World Series was on. It should have come as no shock that instead, we spent a solid fifteen minutes working out the logistics of sex on a different planet that did not have predetermined sexual assignments. I eventually worked them around to the original topic of neutral gender identification. My students suck sometimes.

RL

Hello to today!

2004-09-21T15:22:00.000-05:00

This is really just a test message, nothing more. Better stuff will happen later.